I clicked on it. After 9 hours of clicking on all the click bait, I stumbled across these ancient passages from ancient scripture that seemingly prophesied about our day but in past tense form. Astounding!


1. And it came to pass in the year 2006, that the Cougars of BYU journeyed to the land of Salt Lake City, where they faced the Utes of Utah. In a mighty struggle, the Cougars did prevail, 33-31, and there was much rejoicing in Provo.

2. In the years that followed, the Utes did often triumph over the Cougars, for they were strong and their defense was formidable. Yet, the Cougars did not lose heart, and they continued to fight valiantly.

3. In the year 2010, the Utes did narrowly defeat the Cougars, 17-16, in a battle that was fierce and closely contested.

4. And in the years 2011 to 2019, the Utes did reign supreme, winning many battles over the Cougars. The Cougars did strive mightily, but the Utes’ strength was great as their leader had made a dark oath to him who shall not be named.

5. In the year 2021, the Cougars did rise up and break the Utes’ streak, winning 26-17 in Provo. The people of BYU did celebrate, for it was a great victory.

6. And lo, the rivalry did move forward with fervor.

7. And now, in the year 2023, the Cougars did join the Big 12, and in the year 2024, the Utes did follow. Thus, the rivalry was renewed with even greater intensity.

8. And it came to pass in the year 2024, on the ninth day of the eleventh month, that the Cougars did prepare for battle against the Utes of Utah.

9. The Cougars, clad in their armor of royal blue, did march onto the field of Rice Eccles, their hearts filled with courage and faith.

10. The Utes, known for their cunning and strength, did seek to overwhelm the Cougars with their dark arts of football.

11. But the Cougars, led by a man from the tribe of Judah, did stand firm. They called upon their training and the spirit of their forebears, and they did not falter in their belief.

12. And behold, in the final moments of the fourth quarter, the Cougars did seal their victory with a field goal, making the score 22-21.

13. And it was said in more wicked parts of the land that the game was given to the Cougars and that the Cougars and their affiliates were full of thievery practices. But, nay, we know that it was the hand of the Lord that brought this to pass.

14. For as our forebears had taught, Verily, I say unto you, when a man walketh in righteousness both in his daily life and in his labors, magical things shall come to pass.

15. And thus we see, that the Lord doth sustain and carry His people through difficult times that they might be made stronger, while darkness and vestigial tails doth not support you in times of need but doth run and hide and claim false things.

16. And, lo, though some battles will be won and some battles will be lost, the Lord remembers his people and doth hear their cries and will bring them to victory in the war of holiness.